


You Can't Wake Up (This Is Not A Dream)

by barryolivers



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Cisco's becoming Vibe (but it's not a happy intro), F/M, Hallucinations, M/M, Nightmares, implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:20:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4720826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barryolivers/pseuds/barryolivers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco always thought having powers and the ability to save the world would be cool, exciting. This? This wasn't cool, nor exciting. It was terrifying, and he was in no way <i>close</i> to helping save people like Barry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Wake Up (This Is Not A Dream)

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the warnings. Also, I've been watching Mr. Robot, and if you have too, you'll understand.

_It was all too familiar. This place, this room, the atmosphere. Too familiar. The footsteps that crept from behind him. His body turning without his command, like it was wired inside of him; In a way it was. It was wired inside of him to accept this, to accept he was going to die, despite the knowledge that he was going to. He was never one to be scared of the inevitable, but what was about to happen **terrified** him. _

_“Some would say I’m the reverse.”_

_That voice. The voice of a man he trusted the most. Correction, _had_ trusted the most. Now? Now that trust was broken, ashes on the ground._

_“You’re incredibly clever, Cisco. I’ve always said so.”_

_“You’re him.” The words pour from his mouth before he can stop it, the drop in his stomach as he finished causing a strike of fear to jolt down his spine. It was soon; too soon. “You’re the Reverse-Flash.”_

_As the Reverse-Flash spoke, spoke words of information Cisco already knew, his fear turned into dread._

_“Thawne. Like Eddie.”_

_The words again fell from his mouth, scripted, known, replayed over a thousand times. He knew Eddie wasn’t similar to Eobard. Merely a name was the same. Eddie was kind, a warm heart. Eobard was ruthless, cold blooded. A distant part of him felt a pang as he spoke Eddie’s name, like grief._

_“...Joe was right. You were there that night fifteen years ago. In Barry’s house. You **killed** Nora Allen.”_

_Cisco could hear his own fear, and by God he knew Eobard could too. It was only a matter of time. He was stalling. If he hadn’t known better he’d be confused by his own behaviour. Now, he only understood. Cisco didn’t register the words falling from his mouth yet again, more focussed on suppressing the sounds of the spiralling footsteps around him. It appears he wasn’t the only one stalling. Distantly, again, he knew of a feeling where this speech was different, accepting._

_“I can help you.”_

_Those words, those words that have his voice but not his intentions. Cisco begins to block it out, the vibration of Eobard’s hand like a trigger. A trigger to block out what he was feeling, what he was about to feel. There was wetness on his cheeks, his eyes stinging, throat tight._

_“And in many ways, you have shown me what it’s like to have a son.”  
Cisco would have called them lies, if only he didn’t see the truth in Eobard’s eyes. It was close now. He could already feel the graze. It was only a matter of time before-- ___

__

__Gasping. Cisco was gasping as he clutched his chest, the air gone, unreturning. He swallowed, closing his eyes._ _

__“It’s a dream. Stop it. It wasn’t _real._ ”_ _

__He brought his hands down from his chest, bringing his right one to drag it across his face. He sighed, chest still tight, but he ignored it in favour of actually getting out of bed today. He rubbed his eyes, the soreness of his black eye causing a hiss. Stupid God damn Eobard giving him a fucking black eye. (Maybe he did it himself, but his hallucinations and the voices wouldn’t allow him to believe that for longer than ten minutes.) As he stood, a bottle clanged against another, the shaking one knocking over the full bottle of wine he had, a red stain joining the other ones on his (drastically discoloured) white carpet. He leant down to grab the bottle, ignoring the dizziness, scoffing as he took a swig and dragged his feet over to his bathroom._ _

__Cisco entered, half the bottle of what was left gone. He faced the sink, met by his crooked reflections, the broken mirror showing him many versions of himself, none happy, and none what he wanted to be. He took one last gulp, swirling it around his mouth before spitting it out, watching the red dissolve down the drain. He frowned, taking the bottle and tilting the nozzle, watching the red pour out, his short sleeve shirt showing the red on his wrists too. He smiled softly, turning the tap on after tossing the bottle in the bath, watching the red of the wine create patterns as it merged with the clear of the water. Once it was gone, he splashed water on himself, taking off his clothes and changing into clean ones from the rack.(He’d developed a habit of hanging clothes up for himself the previous night, knowing his mind wouldn’t quite be there enough to take clothes out by himself.) After he was done, he took one last glance to the reflections, thumb grazing over the scabbed knuckles of his left hand before he left, forgetting his keys and to lock the door._ _

__\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__Cisco settled himself on the seat of the train, something he’d decided was best for himself after his hands began shaking so much he couldn’t barely hold a spoon long enough to eat a meal. His seat was by the door, a place where there where handrails where he could rest his head for the half hour journey._ _

__“Do you see him?”_ _

__Cisco looked up at the whispering, two people in front of him. Males. A brunette and a blonde. Sitting close to each other, hands interlaced, the brunette leaning into the blonde._ _

__“The pretty face?”  
The blonde spoke this time, his lips a curve. A part of Cisco was unsettled, the way they spoke, hushed, quiet._ _

__“He’s looking at us.”_ _

__Brunette this time._ _

__“It’s okay, B. He’s harmless. He was killed after all.”_ _

__Cisco frowned. “What?” His voice was croaking, weak._ _

__“You died, remember? So weak you didn’t even fight.”_ _

__Cisco shook his head. “No. It wasn’t like that, man.”_ _

__The brunette scoffed. “Yeah it was. Even offered to help! Disgusting.”_ _

__Cisco swallowed thickly. “Shut up. You weren’t even there.”_ _

__The blonde laughed. “How couldn’t we be?”_ _

__Cisco noticed his legs shaking as he stood. “This-- this is my stop-” He stuttered out, the jolt of the train stopping causing his legs to give way and he fell. He scrunched his eyes shut, throwing himself back up, running from the carriage and not looking back as he ran to S.T.A.R., ignoring the laughs from the people on the train._ _

__“Cisco! Hey, dude. Didn’t think you were coming in today.”_ _

__Cisco’s eyes darted up from where he was looking at his shoes, mouth a little open as he didn’t quite register where he was, when he arrived. “Oh.” Was all he squeaked out, sitting down at a desk. “I need to get out and things.”_ _

__Barry hummed, sitting on the desk besides Cisco, swinging his legs. “I totally understand. Off topic, but Iris went out today too. You know, after she went to the park Edd--”_ _

__Cisco tuned out Barry’s babbles, typing on his computer. He didn’t know what exactly he was typing, and he mind barely registered he was typing at all._ _

__“How long are you going to ignore this for, Cisquito?”_ _

__Cisco looked up from his typing hand, the room different, Barry gone. The room felt familiar._ _

__“Hey, I’m talking to you. Deaf as well as stupid?”  
Cisco frowned as the desk in front of him dispensing, him now inside the meta room(as he’d named it), staring into Hartley Rathaway’s cell. Wait, didn’t Hartley es--_ _

__“Cisco. You can’t ignore this. You’re going insane.”_ _

__Cisco squared his jaw. “You don’t know jack shit.”_ _

__Hartley laughed, full body, his head tipping back. “Oh no. That’s petty. I believe I know _everything._ ”_ _

__Cisco shook his head. “You know the facts. Not the feelings.”_ _

__Hartley tutted. “You seem to forget. This isn’t real. I’m in your _head_. You never left the main--”_ _

__“Cisco!”_ _

__Caitlin’s voice snapped his out, the room falling around him, now he back in the main labs. He faintly registered Caitlin’s hurried clicking heels, Barry’s clicking of his fingers. “Wh--”_ _

__“You passed out. Just as Caitlin arrived. Mumbling things beofre.”_ _

__The last comment was to Caitlin, Cisco could tell. “Sorry.” He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “Didn’t sleep well last night.” Or the night before, or the night before that, the night before that…_ _

__Caitlin nodded. “I understand. Ronnie’s not been settling well either. I can’t pin poin--”_ _

__Her voice faded, Barry’s responses to hers fading too. No, no. He needed to focus, Focus on Caitlin. Come on, Cisco, it’s--_ _

__“Easy.”_ _

__“No.” Cisco whispered, sliding out from the chair, Caitlin and Barry standing with him._ _

__“Oh no. It’s perfectly easy, Cisco. Just as much so as breathing.”_ _

__“Says the guy who decided it was his place to kill me.”_ _

__Eobard laughed then, taking a step closer. “We’ve discussed this. I had reasons.”_ _

__Cisco shuffled into the wall. “Me knowing too much?”_ _

__Eobard nodded. “Correct. And, what a surprise, we’re here again. A different setting, mind.”_ _

__Cisco shuddered, unsettled, his dream, the feelings from that, etching into his being. “I’m not letting you this time.”_ _

__Eobard shook his head, turning to Caitlin, who was still chatting to Barry. “Oh, not you. You’re too important to me. I need you.”_ _

__Cisco swallowed thickly. "Don't touch her."_ _

__Eobard ignored the warning, his hand vibrating as he knocked hairs from Caitlin's shoulder. "So much potentional." He laughed as he brought his hand down._ _

__"No!" Cisco screamed, just as Eobard was gone, as though he were never there, Caitlin's concerned face in his own._ _

__"Cisco. Listen. You need to--"_ _

__"…You're okay." Cisco was relieved, frowning however at Caitlin's concerned face. "I'm dreaming. This isn't--"_ _

__"This is real, Cisco. Cisco-- You--"_ _

__"What's wrong?"_ _

__Cisco coughed, the floor and a spec of dust suddenly interesting. "It-- It wasn't just one time."_ _

**Author's Note:**

> [ tumblr. ](http://www.barryolivers.tumblr.com)


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